Metro Madness

Soundtrack:
As I recall, I know you love to show off
But I never thought that you would take it this far
What do I know? Flashing lights, lights
What do I know? Flashing lights, lights
-Kanye West- Flashing Lights

I don’t mind a man wanting to take care of himself and indulging in some grooming basics. There’s nothing wrong with a man with smooth skin, pretty white teeth, a fresh haircut, and clipped, clean nails, but there’s a thin line before they go too far.
I just had a conversation last week with an older coworker about the term metrosexual. She’d never heard it before and was reading an article when she first stumbled upon the word. She gave me a call and in a timid, but amused tone asked me “what exactly is a metrosexual, is that like bisexual?” I just laughed because I have this 50+ woman asking me this as if she was missing out on something in life. I did my best to explain it and even provided some examples in the forms of some our male coworkers. Her conclusion: “oh so you would call him metro, hmmmm well I just think he's kinda feminine.” *More laughter from me* That’s when I told her that it can be a very thin line between the two. Here are a few ways to tell if the guy has sashayed his way out of bounds.

Skinny Jeans- Ok, I’m not talking about jeans that actually fit your body, but I literally mean SKINNY jeans. We’re getting older, and it’s time to let the days of saggin pants and boxers on display go, so I’m all for a pair of jean that you don’t have to do the two-step shuffle to keep from falling off your behind. Let’s get that clear…..but, what I a referring to is a pair of jeans that hug you from your waist and refuse to let go until they meet your shoes. I don’t care if the label on them say Kenneth Cole or Ed Hardy….skinny is a no-no…and yes-yes, you’re out of bounds for it.
Forgetting your manners- I don’t care if you put more time and effort into your grooming basics than I do…simple fact, you will always be a man and I will always be a woman. Please don’t forget that! Don’t push past a woman to get through a door being held open by another man. What kind of fu*kery is that? Did you really think that he was holding the door for you? I think not. The door holder is using his manners and remembering “ladies first”…not metros first. Get it through your pretty little head.
Smiling with your eyes- Have you been watching Tyra & ANTM a little too much? I’m so very sick of going through pictures of the weeks parties that get sent to me through promoters and seeing pics of dudes posing more than women. What would possess you to cock your head and squint your eyes when the cameraman comes around requesting to take your pic? Were you trying to be sexy, if so please stop.

I’m going to leave it at that because those are my biggest metro pet peeves, but there are plenty more out there. It’s nothing wrong with “doing you” but remember be a man about it.

Just in case.....Exhibit A http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/31/fashion/31shorts.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper&oref=slogin

Do You?

Soundtrack:
I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore
Do you?.....................
Ne-Yo - Do You

It’s that scenario that I think most of us can relate to. One of the many crazy situations we choose to put ourselves through. Whether you chose to end the relationship or it just kind of fizzled out, sometimes you are left wondering. You’re wondering how he is doing, what he’s been up to, or simply if he ever wonders about you. I think that wondering if he’s wondering about you is what most of us are guilty of. Self absorbed, yes, but who cares. You decide to remedy your curiosity with a call, text, or email. Something as simple as “hey stranger”, “long time, no see”, “how are you” can open you up to something you weren’t prepared to hear. He tells you that he’s well, the job is good, and then he mentions something about his fiancé. Ok…so the fat lady has sung and the batch got an engagement ring out of it. Brace yourself for the impact because that’s about to hit you like a ton of bricks. For a millisecond, your brain tricks you into believing that maybe you misunderstood. Then, in the blink of an eye reality sets in and you try to regain your composure. You try to think of something to say quickly or your hesitation will give you away. Out of all the words in the English language, you’ll probably only be able to form your lips or allow your fingers to type “Congrats!” (Gotta make sure you include that exclamation mark in text/email to show your enthusiasm ßnote the sarcasm). J In less than five minutes, your brain will start going through all the different scenarios of how it should/could have been you. What a powerful mechanism the human brain is……equally as powerful, the heart. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since the two of you have communicated, what matters is that when you do talk, there’s still a possibility. Talk of fiancés and babies erase all hope of possibility. Unless you’re a home wrecker, you decide to handle it with class. With your “Congrats!”, you know this is the last time you’ll talk, but not the last time you’ll wonder. How many of us wonder? Should we allow our curiosity to get the best of us or should we continue to live in our own personal dream world where the possibility never ends?

If not you, then who?

Here's the question I have to ask myself about a number of things….if not you, then who? I got forced into asking myself that question recently. How can I continue to watch someone I care about make the same mistakes over and over without ever saying anything? Another rhetorical question. It seems to me that at a certain age, your instincts/intellect should begin to kick in and discourage you from making life altering mistakes. However, I realize that’s not the case. I was just reading something that compared growing up to growing old. If I chose not to do anything but to lie in the bed for the next year, I’d still have grown another year older the following year. That being said, growing old does not require action, but growing up does. When will they grow up? When will they see what we all see? Should I continue to stand on the sideline with the other onlookers shaking our heads in disgust? Or, am I grown up enough to tell the person like it is? That takes a certain amount of maturity too. This is why I’m backed into a corner thinking if I won’t step up and say something, then who will? How long should the foolishness continue?

If not you………..then who?



*You’ll come to find that the subject matter of most of my blog entries won’t be the easiest of conversations, but let’s just say it’s easier blogged than said. Feel free to comment.