Metro Madness

Soundtrack:
As I recall, I know you love to show off
But I never thought that you would take it this far
What do I know? Flashing lights, lights
What do I know? Flashing lights, lights
-Kanye West- Flashing Lights

I don’t mind a man wanting to take care of himself and indulging in some grooming basics. There’s nothing wrong with a man with smooth skin, pretty white teeth, a fresh haircut, and clipped, clean nails, but there’s a thin line before they go too far.
I just had a conversation last week with an older coworker about the term metrosexual. She’d never heard it before and was reading an article when she first stumbled upon the word. She gave me a call and in a timid, but amused tone asked me “what exactly is a metrosexual, is that like bisexual?” I just laughed because I have this 50+ woman asking me this as if she was missing out on something in life. I did my best to explain it and even provided some examples in the forms of some our male coworkers. Her conclusion: “oh so you would call him metro, hmmmm well I just think he's kinda feminine.” *More laughter from me* That’s when I told her that it can be a very thin line between the two. Here are a few ways to tell if the guy has sashayed his way out of bounds.

Skinny Jeans- Ok, I’m not talking about jeans that actually fit your body, but I literally mean SKINNY jeans. We’re getting older, and it’s time to let the days of saggin pants and boxers on display go, so I’m all for a pair of jean that you don’t have to do the two-step shuffle to keep from falling off your behind. Let’s get that clear…..but, what I a referring to is a pair of jeans that hug you from your waist and refuse to let go until they meet your shoes. I don’t care if the label on them say Kenneth Cole or Ed Hardy….skinny is a no-no…and yes-yes, you’re out of bounds for it.
Forgetting your manners- I don’t care if you put more time and effort into your grooming basics than I do…simple fact, you will always be a man and I will always be a woman. Please don’t forget that! Don’t push past a woman to get through a door being held open by another man. What kind of fu*kery is that? Did you really think that he was holding the door for you? I think not. The door holder is using his manners and remembering “ladies first”…not metros first. Get it through your pretty little head.
Smiling with your eyes- Have you been watching Tyra & ANTM a little too much? I’m so very sick of going through pictures of the weeks parties that get sent to me through promoters and seeing pics of dudes posing more than women. What would possess you to cock your head and squint your eyes when the cameraman comes around requesting to take your pic? Were you trying to be sexy, if so please stop.

I’m going to leave it at that because those are my biggest metro pet peeves, but there are plenty more out there. It’s nothing wrong with “doing you” but remember be a man about it.

Just in case.....Exhibit A http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/31/fashion/31shorts.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper&oref=slogin